Chopped 12-9-97 --- 12-2-97 "i'm trying and that may well be the end of everything." - Amanda (M-M) P. 11-28-97 I miss people... :[ my goddamn computer fucking sucks so I have no open parenthesis key now. :{ 11-26-97 Slept through all my classes today, ah life is nice :Turkey day is coming! 11-20-97 "I know we don't live here anymore. We bought an old house on the Danforth She loves me and her body keeps me warm. I'm happy there." --"The Old Apartment", the Barenaked Ladies. 11-19-97 "We're not dealing with TAMS students. We're dealing with normal people with normal rights." -Kevin Roden 11-12-97 ~12:30pm Caw Caw Caw BANG Fuck I'm dead.-_The_Crow_ 11-12-97 ~2am Stalker is on. 11-11-97 Why do I keep *saying* everything I'm supposed to put in my .plan? Now I can't remember it! 11-06-97 Chopping off one's hair is not strange, when compared to being bright orange. 11-03-97 It's nice to know *why* you hate your mother. October 30, 1997 I keep thinking that by ignoring my unreplied e-mail, it will eventually go away of its own accord. October 29, 1997 being sick sucks but this is interesting: "i want everyone to fuck and eat fruit." -st. elly http://www.maz.org/squad/elly/saint/ I said interesting. --- October 28, 1997 Found this nifty quote. thought some of you might... identify? with it. >>> >Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather >>> >straps. >>> > -- Emo Phillips --- October 27, 1997 Bobby forwarded many jokes to some people (thanks much! :D) and this was under 'What kids think of love' HOW TO MAKE LOVE ENDURE: "Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash." (Randy, 8) --- October 23, 1997 Do you know what it's like to wake up to a thunderstorm on a thursday morning and feel completely rested? I do. How grand. --- October 22, 1997 I have a Biology exam in 6 hours and 48 minutes, but I'm happy. I also have a Biology Laboratory Practical in 14 hours and 48 minutes, but I'm still happy. I've only done half my Calculus homework and I don't understand the rest, but that's okay. I'm happy. I've said this before, but I'll say it again. I've got 2 CDs of MP3s. "I'll get by with a little help from my friends."-Beatles "These are the days."-10,000 Maniacs "Don't worry; be happy."-Bobby McFerrin It's all right there, man. It's all right there. When I'm in a slump, please tell me that again. I'd like to think that it'll have some significance and maybe I'll see over the hill, and smile. --- October 21, 1997 in that place, between pain and pleasure, lies ecstacy. I think. hey- it sounds cool, alright? g'night. --- October 20, 1997 Two grizly bars and a bowl of chocolate syrup. Hyper is an understatement. "I found the secret to life I found the secret to life... and I'm okay when everything is not okay" -Tori Amos, Upside Down Bobby McFerrin says: "Don't worry be happy." That's the secret. ;) today is a happy day. October 18, 1997 (post-sleep) PSATs are over! Where is my home? do I have one? how will I know? why can't I be there now? it's times like this that I wish my mom would phone me up and tell me a lot of her new-age bullcrap that I won't believe anyway, just so I can still have hope. Did you know JOVE doesn't have a ping command? w'zup with that? October 18, 1997 not *everything* is always depressing. it's amazing what can happen in the span of 24 hours. I've got blowpops ;) Oh yeah, PSAT's in 6 hours... maybe I should get some sleep. Damn caffinated beverages. Damn them to hell. Wait! I want one! October 17, 1997 hm. I wonder if I can fuck with people's heads by logging in from two terminals. ... I keep thinking that if I ask enough questions of other people, that eventually I'll find something that sounds right and be able to adopt it. you said you just wanted to curl up with someone and cuddle. I said I'll cuddle with you. but you said that you're in Maryland and I'm in Texas. so I said I'd DCC it to you. but it never came, did it. "I stood without clothes and danced in the sand, I was aching with freedom and kissing the damned, I said remember this is how it should be" -"Fugitive" from the Indigo Girls' Swamp Ophelia album Ben looked weird for a second... I mean, he looked not-right- like somethign was wrong - like there were cuts in the costumes dept's budget. -and then I realized why. d'you wanna know why? it's because- my life- is being produces by an intern. Which explains why the continuity is all messed up. and the props suck and sometiems the actors suck too. It's like this 1 big flop- but everyone knows how to improvise so it all turns out fun in the end anyway. <- please not: this line sounds wrong. the script writers suck too. :) October 12, 1997, 2:03am: you gave me that look so I know I should explain. my life... lately, often, lately- it feels alien. I feel alien, like I don't belong here. I don't know I belong anywhere.. I thought I knew you .. too well almost but it's getting to the point that I have doubts about that. I never claimed to know myself. suicide is against all practical judgement. so why does it sometimes seem so appealing? because sometimes I'm just tired of living. I think someday, I keep thinking that someday, I'm just going to take a flying leap out of my window, in a shower of shattering glass which, when viewed in slow-mo, would have looked really beautiful, and I'll fall down for a brief instant and lie in a bloody pile on the ground 3 floors down. I hope I live. --- I chopped my plan. you can see it at http://people.unt.edu/~bgb0004/plan-19971012.txt Happy Birthday.