Login: bgb0004 Name: Benjamin George Bradley On since Thu Sep 23 17:15 (CDT) on pts/5 from pppte08- Project: live bbradley@iname.com -> bgb0004@jove.acs.unt.edu http://members.tripod.com/~lostpoet/ AIM screenname: LostPoet01 ICQ UIN: 2138802 -----Damn, Privacy is nice:----- You can get my PGP 2.6.2 key from the web at http://members.tripod.com/~lostpoet/mypubkey.asc or download my PGP Personal Edition key from the default server. Plan: 8-31-99 This is bgb0004 officially signing off. activist@cs.utexas.edu 5-17-99 graduation is over. I GRADUATED! I think.... assuming that I passed physics... it was a great weekend: cosmic bowling until 2:30am and then a drama banquet including such mischief as sticking butter packets to teh ceiling and mooning unwelcomed guests to an after-party. 5-8-99 6 days Graduation is palpable. but what for desert? I've probably put these quotes in here before, but I'm cleaning my room so i found them so here they are again. From _1984_ "(For) It is only by reconciling contradictions that power can be retained indefinately." (!78) "Sanity is not statistical" "It is not easy to become sane" (207) 5-6-99 Hedonist quote for the day: "Of course life sucks. It always will. Why not make the most of it? How dare you not lunge at any shred of happiness?!" "You have to think of AIDS like the guest that won't leave. The one we all hate. But hey- it's still our party." both from _Jeffrey_ (film) 4-23-99 I had an entry for yesterday but jove was being all pishy at me and now i forgot. but this is todays entry: fuck all. I've discovered further liberation: semiotics. You are who you think you are, and nothing else. me and hobbs in our own private universe law means nothing and a slight obsession with the CO 15. a series of relatively unrelated (causally, to the above liberation) excerpts from great short works of mark twain: the mysterious stranger: p343: He had never felt a pain or a sorrow, and did not know what they were, in any really informing way. He had no knowledge of them except theoretically--that is to say, intellectually. And of course that is no good. One can never get any but a loose and ignorant notion of such things except by experience. p351: I know your race. It is made up of sheep. It is governed by minorities, seldom or never by majorities. It suppresses its feelings and its beliefs and follows the handful that makes the most noise. Sometimes the noisy handful is right, sometimes wrong; but no matter, the crowd follows it. The vast majority of the race, whether savage or civilized, are secretly kind-hearted and shrink from inflicting pain, but in the presence of the aggressive and pitiless minority they don't dare to assert themserves. p352: Monarchies, aristocracies, and religions are all based upon that large defect in your race--the individual's distrust of his neighbor, and his desire, for safety's or comfort's sake, to stand well in his neighbor's eye. These institutions will always remain, and always flourish, and always oppress you, affront you, and degrade you, because you will always be and remain slaves of minorities. There was never a country where the majority of the people were in their secret hearts loyal to any of these institutions. ... (on war:) There has never been a just one, never an honorable one--on the part of the instigator of the war. I can see a million years ahead, and this rule will never change in so many as half a dozen instances. The loud little handful-- as usual-- will shout for the war. The pulpit will-- warily and cautiously-- object-- at first; the great, big, dull bulk of the nation will rub its sleepy eyes and try to make out why there should be a war, and will say, earnestly and indignantly, 'It is unjust and dishonorable, and there is no necessity for it.' Then the handful will should louder. A few fair men on the other side will argue and reason against the war with speech and pen, and at first will have a hearing and be applauded; but it will not last long; those others will outshout them and presently the anti-war audiences will thin out and lose popularity. Before long you will see this curious thing: the speakers stoned from the platform, and free speech strangled by hordes of furious men who in their secret hearts are still at one with those stoned speakers-- as earlier-- but do not dare to say so. And now the whole nation-- pulpit and all-- will take up the war-cry, and shout itself hoarse, and mob any honest man who ventures to open his mouth, and presently such mouths will cease to open. Next the statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is attacked, and every man will be glad of those conscience-soothing falsities, and will diligently study them, and refuse to examine any refutations of them; and thus he will by and by convince himself that the war is just, and will thank God for the better sleep he enjoys after this process of grotesque self-deception. p359: Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination? No sane man can be happy, for to him life is real, and he sees what a fearful thing it is. Only the mad can be happy, and not many of those. The few that imagine themselves kings or gods are happy, the rest are no happier than the sane. 4-17-99 prograd's over. I got a free camera and bought 2 things of film and got a free battery for my camera :) sometimes I feel like a bad person by ommision. I'm sorry. Flat Top by Goo Goo Dolls Flat top intervention Bringing home a new invention See it there in pieces on the ground A television war between the cynics and the saints Flip the dial and that's whose side you're on Sleeping on the White House lawn ain't never changed a thing Look at all the washed out Hippie dreams And it's fallin' all around us Is this some kinda joke they're trying to pull on us Fallin' all around us I turned my head off for a while The tabloid generation's lost Choking on it's fear Used to be that's all we had to fear Conscience keeps us quiet while the crooked loves to speak His knowledge wrapped in blankets on the street. A visionary coward says that anger can be power As long as there's a victim on TV And it's fallin' all around us Is this some kinda joke they're trying to pull on us Fallin' all around us I turned my head off for a while And my dirty dreams all come alive On my TV screen And assasination plots Show me what I haven't got Show me what I love, Who I'm supposed to be Show me everything I need Show it all to me Show it all to me And it's fallin' all around us Is this some kinda joke they're trying to pull on us Fallin' all around us I turned my head off for a while i say, they said: "knowledge wrapped in blankets on the street" "Listen hard to your reality" - "impersonality" "And now we're grown up orphans That never knew their names Don't belong to no one ... You could hide beside me Maybe for a while and I won't tell no one your name ... Scars are souvenirs you never lose ... reruns all become our history" -name 4-9-99 Thus concludes the worst week ever i'm still alive tomorrow i get to go fishing at the house of the most beautiful person in my mind tori quote for the day: I got 25 bucks and a cracker do you think it's enough To get us there and the tory song for the day, because. HAPPY PHANTOM And if I die today I'll be the HAPPY Phantom And I'll go chasin' the nuns out in the yard And I'll run naked through the streets without my mask on And I will never need umbrellas in the rain I'll wake up in strawberry fields every day And the atrocities of school I can forgive The HAPPY phantom has no right to bitch Oo who the time is getting closer Oo who time to be a ghost Oo who every day we're getting closer The sun is getting dim Will we pay for who we been So if I die today I'll be the HAPPY phantom And I'll go wearin' my NAUGHTIES like a jewel They'll be my ticket to the universal opera There's Judy Garland taking Buddha by the hand And then these seven little men get up to dance they say Confucius does his crossword with a pen I'm still the angel to a girl who hates to SIN Or will I see you dear and wish I could come back You found a girl that you could TRULY love again Will you still call for me when she falls asleep Or do we soon forget the things we cannot see... i say, she said I'll never need umbrellas in the rain I'll wake up in strawberry fields every day they say Confucius does his crossword with a pen good night loves 4-6-99 Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill. 4-5-99 UT@Austin here I come!!! wel that's one less decision I have to make myself. 3-31-99 Atheism is a non-prophet organization. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 2-11-98 Measure wealth not by the things you have, but by the things you have for which you would not take money. 2-10-98 Soul Coughing Incidentally, Homogenic. Bjorkish. 1-28-99 "I won't give up it wants me dead and goddamn this noise inside my head." -|\|||/| "nothing is important enough to go insane over. except yourself." - Amanda Pintye yes, some of us still check. 1-24-99 "It's tuesday I'm in love" It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as warning to others. 1-13-99 "we're all here 'cause we're not all there" - Aerosmith, _fever_ 12-18-98 Qu`est-ce que c`est Pa-pa-pa-pa Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa! 12-16-98 Chicken by Roger McGough Some nights when I've had a few I ask the world to take off its coat and step outside. Luckily for you it's always chickened out. 12-11-98 Wow, my inbox has been clipped down to only 50 unreplied messages now. If they can wait a week, they can get responses... ah life. *love* 12-03-98 first day of real senioritis. rainy wet puddles go splash grey and low energy high priced stores with way cool stuff im still alive 11-29-98 heh.. net like i ever really update my .plan anymore... i guess that's senior year for ya.. working and applying and procrastinating.. lots of that... anyway, over thanksgiving, i saw Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. quotes: "The possibility of physical and mental collapse is now very real. No sympathy for the devil - keep that in mind; buy the ticket, take the ride." and I want this one on my tombstone: "There he goes, one of god's own prototypes - a high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production, too weird to live and too rare to die." 10-25-98 "I'm not talking to you because you're a dumbfuck and I don't speak dumbfuck!" - Jason Sonk ;) 10-22-98 hmm.. been a while... "Maybe I'll just bludgeon myself into unconciousness with my e+m text Though I'd be better off borrowing my room mate's bio text "Makes satisfying thud when dropped from the top bunk" Wrote that on the class evaluation of bio under "What did you like about the text?" -Thoe Rhodes 9-26-98 Ignore the mad ravings - he only does it to entertain himself. The world exists for my ammusement, but also, I exist solely to entertain myself. Swing dancing is absolutely THE BOMB. 9-25-98 Good Morning everyone! *blinks* ello love hmm... new juniors are scary and new new things are scary and blue my name is george and i live a stew now what will you do? the world is far far too small. dan bern and ani difranco heather nova... :nothing heals me like you do: love tastes good. because I want to, that's why! and now I have at least 3 people looking for a copy of You Are My Hiroshima so that I can reread it. like the beginning of last year. oh things are strange. whee life what a rush --- I chopped my plan. again. again. you can see it at http://people.unt.edu/~bgb0004/plan-19980925.txt and http://people.unt.edu/~bgb0004/plan-19971209.txt and http://people.unt.edu/~bgb0004/plan-19971012.txt